Writing your own vows

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Diamond Photography

Find some inspiration

How do you find inspiration? A great starting point is to refer to standard vows, then ask your self a series of questions such as – which element of the vows are important to you? What rings true in your own relationship?

This process can be referred to as creating the ‘shell’ of your vows. Once you have your shell, you can then happily fill it with all you desire.

Create a structure

The main problem for most, is that they don’t know where to start. What is the structure? What do I say first? How long do I speak for? Well the answer is really quite simple. Stick to the way vows have been delivered for decades! Your minister or celebrant should provide you with the basic structure of classic vows. By reading basic and traditional vows, you’ll be able to feel how they are written and delivered.
Another way to look at the structure is by examining great song structures. Vows are generally delivered following this same composition. The progression generally starts off small and increases in intensity at the middle, then tapers off to a whimsical end. If you were to draw the structure, it would resemble a triangle. Low on either ends, then large and tall in the middle.

All of your important and heart filled information should be revealed when you are half way through your vows.

Brainstorm

Another key starting point is to jot sentences down on paper. By doing this, you are provoking relative thoughts and suggestions from the brain and soon you will be able to gather enough thoughts and words to form your own vows.

You’ll be surprised by how many useful phrases and thoughts run through your mind while you are in the middle of simple tasks like grocery shopping and cooking – in recognising this, we encourage all brides-to-be to carry a ‘thought book.’ This can be used frequently to jot down all your wonderful ideas.

Once you have overcome the initial fear of writing your own vows, it is important to remain honest and open. Don’t worry about what you write, just say what’s really on your mind. It’s also important to think about what you want to say, not what you think your friends and family want to hear.

The absolute key to successful vows is integrity and honesty.